crossroads: the inescapable presence of silence
Monday, September 26, 2005
no tv. no newspapers. no books. no radio. no music. minimum use of internet (just for e-mail and blogging).
in a creative class of jim paredes, we've been asked to deprive ourselves of the different types of media. first and foremost, this is to allow creativity to come in without the trappings and expectations of society, especially that of our country's unbearable media (on a side note: i would definitely not be creative by watching kris aquino). secondly, which i think is more important, is that this kind of deprivation allows more space for thinking. it gives for more opportunity to have a breathing room and dwell on personal longings and dreams.
i don't watch much television (except for rockstar: inxs and tennis matches). i only read the newspaper for less than 10 minutes in the morning (with the comics section being the longest). those things were easy for me to give up. but i surf the net, read a lot of books and music fills my everyday. these are the things that i needed to let go, even for a while. though i haven't really been faithful with the minimum use of the internet (still reading other people's blogs and use internet forums), i've been able to reflect a lot: on getting older, current involvements, career path and relationships.
man, the space that i have to think is quite immense. i enjoy quiet moments but allowing moments of fear, discomfort and doubt to enter? to let the unbearable lightness of being sink in? to dig deep again and go back into a quarter life crisis? to engage in past regrets? with these thoughts in mind, it's so tempting to turn on the television, get a book from my shelf or open i-tunes and just shut these thoughts up.
but then again, revising my personal map towards my true north seems so compelling. to experience abundance over and over again, each and every day, to breathe life into my longings and dreams: this is what draws me to this experience. to go though this would be to allow a space to have my being utterly renewed.
i still have a week left in this class and i still don't know what to do in the next few months, let alone for the rest of my life. but i need this now to be sane/crazy (whichever way you look at it) for the rest of my life.
posted by lex @ 12:06 PM,
3 Comments:
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At 10:43 AM,
Zhinesade said...
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doesn't "tuning out of everything" in the present remind you of what you "tuned into" in the past? is that the goal of the exercise? to reflect on the thoughts of your past, colored by all the external forces? just asking.
anyways, you're right. silence is beautiful and ugly at the same time. i def agree. sometimes, distractions are welcome just because you feel like the princess and the pea, with a thought stuck in the recesses of your brain, unwilling to show its full meaning (or non-meaning).
reflective post. i like it. napadaan lang. c'est allan, ami a mia :D bonjour! -
At 9:19 AM,
Daisy said...
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Hi Lex,
Great class!I think Jim Paredes is a great father with the way he helped mold Ala. How he encouraged creativity manifest in his daughter.
it is indeed liberating to be free of these. For more than a year now we do not have a tv in the house. Not that we can't afford it my Dad even offered. Its also a bit hard to explain to people that you are simplifying.
We do not have stereo except for the pc and we don't read news papers (i think only on airplanes).
Creating space for the things we need to live a full life is a great way of spending our time. -
At 6:14 PM,
lex said...
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zhinesade: what a nice surprise to know that you passed by my blog!
partly that was what happened that by tuning into the present, you tend to see what is important and unimportant, which is very much influenced by past experiences. but at the same time, granting this space allows me to create more (to write, take photos, etc.) and do the things that i long to do, which are directed to the future.
and if one wants to live a full life, one must be willful enough to do the necessary undertaking and efuse to be muddled by what the world dictates.
thanks for passing by!
daisy: jim is one amazing teacher. people can do without television. yes, you are right. not being held by gunpoint by the media gives more opportunity to your life work (and not to be muddled up by the commercialism).
right now, i've been out of tune with these thing and when i passed by the living room earlier, my father was watching a dating show and it was so stupid. i wanted to get out immediately. not worth my time.
when i do have kids, i want them to be adventurers, not necessary in the literal sense but explorers of their own worlds. tv tends to limit that a lot.
