utterly grateful
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
less than a year ago, i resigned from a job for reasons other than what i expect from myself. on that fateful day, there wasn't any sense of closure, except perhaps a handshake from my japanese boss. i was ruined for a few months, no, make that more than a few months. i was utterly exhausted from what transpired in that company. in short, i was burned out. there was no ounce of gratitude on my end.
but eight months down the road, things have come full circle. i now know that the stored bitterness that i have for that office is close to nil, if not, really gone. i don't have a need to talk about it. and if i do, i look at it as an experience that gave me real personal growth. i'm even much thankful that they have given me an opportunity to travel to an exotic locale. what has brought me to this point, you may ask?
it's just a realization that this too has given me much to be thankful for: travels, new friends and a greater depth to my person. from being so frustrated to having a sense of fulfillment, that is something. even more, i wouldn't be the person that i am without it. in fact, that is a new experience for me. all i know is that there comes a point in my life that there is a need to come to an acceptance of what has been said and done. a person can change his mind when he wants to.
if there is one thing that i have learned in psychology, we are more than just those theories, that we should not allow ourselves to be boxed up by mere concepts that scientists have named. (yes, there are times when it can help predict behavior, but on the other hand, it should not only be the sole gauge of understanding behavior. psychology that is limiting is never really psychology at all.) that being scarred does not mean that you will be scarred for the rest of your life. our behavior is much more evolved than that. sometimes, it is we who limit our own capabilities. we listen to voices that say that we are not good, fast or intelligent enough. this does not mean that i'm bordering on self-help. in fact, i don't think so. i think that there's a lot of bull out there telling me to do this or do that. in the end it's up to me to decide. and that's that. if i want to be grateful, i will be.
i'm just glad to be where i am. this is life, and this is what is given.
posted by lex @ 12:03 PM,
2 Comments:
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At 6:00 AM,
Photography said...
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wow. nice blog. thanks and God bless.
jeff,sj -
At 6:25 PM,
lex said...
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glad to know you liked my blog, jeff. thanks for dropping by.
