"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." - Dr. Seuss, Oh! The Places You'll Go!



old roads and new roads: photographs
Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"what the water wants is hurricane
and sailboats to ride on it's back
what the water wants is sun kiss
and land to run into and back"

- sufjan stevens

i'm currently doing the avp for my brother's wedding and he's given me tons of photos to collate. even if i'm up to my head, it's actually not a bother and in fact, it's been quite a treat to look at old family photos. i've kept a lot of photos of my friends and travels but rarely do i keep photos of my family. that task is designated to my mom. added to that, i haven't seen much in the last 2 years. so looking at these pictures seem like looking at them for the first time.

most of it are memories of my brother in telling situations of past adventures and the love that he gives. although i'm not part in a majority of the photos, i still feel attached to it -- to family that i haven't seen a while, to his friends who i've looked up to when i was growing up, to similar trails that we tread, and to a beaming face much like my own. we have different stories to tell and yet it seems so familiar. i have not been there and yet in my dreams, i have. i wasn't able to go to his graduation in boston and yet, it looked as if it was my graduation, a sense of joy that was very similar to my last day in school. these are tales that are very much enmeshed to my own person.

i was particularly struck when i came across photos of relatives living in san francisco and l.a. most are group shots with my brother. i haven't seen these people for quite a while and though i'll be seeing them this december, i find myself wanting time to quicken for the next few days. i sorely miss them. more than the people that live here in my own neighborhood, these are actually the people that i'm drawn to, that the people i actually consider family.

people i love, and people that my brother loves.

hauntingly similar stories and yet the irony of this is that we haven't really been together much. my work, previous and current, leads me to different places and his is the same. we more or less tag team and take turns staying at home. over the past four years, we've rarely seen each other. times spent together seem more infrequent than a moon landing (on that point, i'm exaggerating but you do get the drift). so i'm quite amazed that we do have a lot of pictures taken together. here i found glimpses of times spent together of 2 brothers going in increasingly divergent directions.


especially that he's a month away from getting married, i find these photos more telling than ever. each photo signified much change, knowing that each passing moment solidifies the idea that nothing will ever be the same; to proceed to what we believe as important and at the same time, do away with the unnecessary. as such, we continue moving forward to breathe flesh to the word in our dreams.

the waters of our own soul will reach the lands that are destined for us.

*****

after the first few photos, i've gotten over the nostalgia. in fact, i'm quite excited of what comes next. photos serve as markers, reminds me of what i've done and push me on in what i can still do. on that note, i'm looking forward to the next pictures to be added in my collection. if the past few months serve as an indication, 2006 looks like a great year for me.

posted by lex @ 3:28 PM,

3 Comments:

At 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Everything changes but nothing is truly lost."
Neil Gaiman

 
At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

pag mga bata pa lang cute...pag malaki na e... :)

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger lex said...

tiffany: everything indeed changes and what remains is the essential

mia: pero pag malaki na e di mas cute! :)

 

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