my ordination song
Sunday, April 16, 2006
"I always knew you.
in your mother's arms,
I have called your name.
I've an idea placed in your mind
to be a better man."
- sufjan stevens, 'vito's ordination song'
*****
it is this what i find today: that i have struggled and wrestled with You for the past five days; that i saw my own brokenness and woundedness and that You understood it all -- that You too were abandoned; that it was my earth that You were facing when You were on the path to calvary; that You live in me despite my sinfulness and you chose to do so; that I have found healing in You; that i have risen up because You did it first; that now You have made me whole, i am of service to You.
i reprhase what the pevensies said in the last book of narnia: You are more than what i ever hoped for. thank You.
*****
"nothing is more practical than finding God,
that is,
than falling in a quite absolute,
final way.
what you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything,
how you spend your weekend,
what you read,
what you know that breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
fall in love,
stay in love,
and it will decide everything."
- pedro arrupe, sj, 28th superior general of the society of jesus
posted by lex @ 6:47 PM,
my way home
Monday, April 10, 2006
"sometimes i miss a step
i stumble here and there
i'm findin' my way home
if i'm lost then i'll admit
sometimes i plain forget
i'm findin' my way home
you can try and stand in my way
you can say what you're gonna say
but i'm findin' my way home"
- citizen cope, 'my way home'
just like barry and rose, i've been thinking of changing my profile from my pen name to my real name. both of them have changed theirs and its high time that i change mine. although xandro is also one of my nicknames (way back in high school), people know me more as lex. and as of today, i'm using my more used nick.
*****
i have 2 blogs, this one and bushi-do, the road of the warrior. i've been contemplating of dropping one for the other but these 2 blogs seem different to me so i'm keeping them both and probably in the end, both will lead home.
posted by lex @ 9:33 PM,
five weddings
the first half of this year seems to be a good time to get married. i don't know what's in the cosmos as of late but it looks like half of my friends are tying the knot (or have done it). i've attended the wedding of my brother, former officemate and a great friend. i will also be going to the marriage celebrations of a block kabarkada and a college buddy (or as pj would call it, mate) in the next few months.
it's been a blessing attending these weddings, especially my brother's & his wife's, and lara's & pj's. both were amazing weddings with the way it became intimate affairs of family and good friends; of the way everybody who attended had a stake in their union. but more than that, i wanted to celebrate with them because these are the people who gave me an overflowing abundance of their person. (this is the same reason why i am excited to attend the 2 weddings ahead. this is also the same reason why i wanted so badly to go to a couple of weddings in the past -- day's & amat's and jaqui's & victor's.) my brother has always been a staunch ally, even if i fumble and change directions from time to time. lara's wise words has changed my paradigm regarding permanence and relationships, that it does indeed last. ryce, along with our other barkada, rode through the joys and pain of college life (i don't know if we are the only ones but we all believe that our college life was waaaay better that our high school life). dave, with his optimism and fulgumisms, quelched both my cynicism and pessimism, and he still continues to think big and refuses to sell out, which is an inspiration to all of us.
i find that in weddings, we celebrate life itself. that in this, we celebrate the legacy of the past and with the union, we open the doors to hope; that indeed the future is bright. i see it in the eyes of the family, i see it in beaming faces of the couple. that although we say our goodbyes, we also say our thanksgiving. there is much gratitude in these things.
indeed as meister eckhart once said, "if the only prayer you ever say in your life is thank you, it will be enough."
posted by lex @ 8:29 PM,
baguio blogging
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
so, baguio now has wifi. not at my friend's place but someone else's (to you i.t. people, yes it's robbing bandwidth but i'd rather call it keeping updated -- we're not downloading anything big anyway). and perhaps, with the cordillera mountains in the background and the jesuit villa as our neighbor, this is the best place to blog, so i'm typing on my friend's computer right now.
*****
as a child, baguio has always drawn condescending statements from members of my family -- it's polluted, haphazardly planned, overpopulated, architectural mishaps, yada yada yada. despite the wonderful experiences like horseback riding around the city, walking to mansion house and back up again to felipe, i still imbibed the negative perceptions of baguio from other people. (and to think, my lolo has a place in a nice portion of this city.)
but ever since my trip with friends to baguio city last year, this place has revived it's lustre. one just has to see a place through the eyes of people who love the city despite everything. more than that, i guess i just found something real about this place -- that it has become more than a vacation spot. it has become a second home of sorts. (caliraya was my second home but it seems that i have moved on from that stage in my life; i still work there though.) it has come to a point where i am doing major renovations at my friend's house. i've helped clean up, rearrange furniture, paint a wall, fix & grout a mirror frame and tore down some ugly cabinetry in between the kitchen & dining room and rearrange furniture. if you hear someone making a ruckus in mirador hills, most likely that's me. and if ever you pass by the house, you'll probably see one satisfied person doing carpentry work. and i thought i lacked the skill for this.
indeed, good things are coming out of this place. i'm learning and doing new things. i'm finding new competencies that i never knew i had. furthermore, i'm having good realizations (both related and unrelaed to cleaning house). i tell you, baguio is one heck of a place.
posted by lex @ 9:54 PM,
