multiple destinations: december on my mind
Saturday, November 26, 2005
this must be my most hectic december since i was born: fixing of the house (yes, we're still at it); completing an outdoor adventure module for january of next year; writing backlog articles; an 8-day baguio and kabayan trip starting tomorrow; attending the famed simbang gabi of ateneo; arrivals of close relatives from los angeles and san francisco (woohoo!); tons of catching up, kuwentuhan and hanging out with my closest cousins; christmas parties (and i'll probably miss some); reunions; and my brother's wedding (and this is hectic being the best man/gopher).
but i'm not complaining. in fact, i'm loving it.
posted by lex @ 11:33 PM,
old roads and new roads: photographs
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
"what the water wants is hurricane
and sailboats to ride on it's back
what the water wants is sun kiss
and land to run into and back"
- sufjan stevens
i'm currently doing the avp for my brother's wedding and he's given me tons of photos to collate. even if i'm up to my head, it's actually not a bother and in fact, it's been quite a treat to look at old family photos. i've kept a lot of photos of my friends and travels but rarely do i keep photos of my family. that task is designated to my mom. added to that, i haven't seen much in the last 2 years. so looking at these pictures seem like looking at them for the first time.
most of it are memories of my brother in telling situations of past adventures and the love that he gives. although i'm not part in a majority of the photos, i still feel attached to it -- to family that i haven't seen a while, to his friends who i've looked up to when i was growing up, to similar trails that we tread, and to a beaming face much like my own. we have different stories to tell and yet it seems so familiar. i have not been there and yet in my dreams, i have. i wasn't able to go to his graduation in boston and yet, it looked as if it was my graduation, a sense of joy that was very similar to my last day in school. these are tales that are very much enmeshed to my own person.
i was particularly struck when i came across photos of relatives living in san francisco and l.a. most are group shots with my brother. i haven't seen these people for quite a while and though i'll be seeing them this december, i find myself wanting time to quicken for the next few days. i sorely miss them. more than the people that live here in my own neighborhood, these are actually the people that i'm drawn to, that the people i actually consider family.
people i love, and people that my brother loves.
hauntingly similar stories and yet the irony of this is that we haven't really been together much. my work, previous and current, leads me to different places and his is the same. we more or less tag team and take turns staying at home. over the past four years, we've rarely seen each other. times spent together seem more infrequent than a moon landing (on that point, i'm exaggerating but you do get the drift). so i'm quite amazed that we do have a lot of pictures taken together. here i found glimpses of times spent together of 2 brothers going in increasingly divergent directions.
especially that he's a month away from getting married, i find these photos more telling than ever. each photo signified much change, knowing that each passing moment solidifies the idea that nothing will ever be the same; to proceed to what we believe as important and at the same time, do away with the unnecessary. as such, we continue moving forward to breathe flesh to the word in our dreams.
the waters of our own soul will reach the lands that are destined for us.
*****
after the first few photos, i've gotten over the nostalgia. in fact, i'm quite excited of what comes next. photos serve as markers, reminds me of what i've done and push me on in what i can still do. on that note, i'm looking forward to the next pictures to be added in my collection. if the past few months serve as an indication, 2006 looks like a great year for me.
after the first few photos, i've gotten over the nostalgia. in fact, i'm quite excited of what comes next. photos serve as markers, reminds me of what i've done and push me on in what i can still do. on that note, i'm looking forward to the next pictures to be added in my collection. if the past few months serve as an indication, 2006 looks like a great year for me.
posted by lex @ 3:28 PM,
yellow light: caution in the land of the dumagats
Sunday, November 13, 2005
more than a year ago, tragedy struck in infanta, quezon, the land of the dumagats. a strong tropical typhoon crossed this small seaside town wrecking havoc and bringing down a landslide of the ages. a strong typhoon mixed with environmental degradation of the nearby mountains will always make a potent disaster.
*****
i was in the town a couple of days ago. initial impressions didn't give off signs of the tragedy. it seemed that people recovered quickly from this. life actually looked normal. but sometimes, initial impressions don't last.
i first went to an area that was formerly a rice field. the opreative word here being 'formerly'. it was a rolling grass plain with fallen wood trunks scattered over a space of more than a hundred hectares. in fact, if the locals didn't tell me that it was one, i wouldn't have figured it out. walking across the expanse, i came across more and more fallen wood. it looked like wood sculptures from a distance and seemed as though that a part of the philippines finally became interested in culture and art. the southern sierra madre even provided a stunning backdrop to the stark landscape. it was such a surreal environment and yet it was so real. it looked so beautiful, yet so tragic.
i couldn't understand how large tree trunks the circumferential size of 2 to 3 people with their arms spread out came all the way to that area when in fact, the mountains are more than 10 kilometers away. the flood waters could have brought it there and yet, i couldn't phantom the idea. i was looking at a tall coconut tree when i heard someone say that floods in this area were as tall as grown coconut trees. and those trees looked taller than 2 floors to me. and in order to survive the ordeal, as many as 3 dumagat families perched on a single tree: moms with their babies, fathers tired from the vigil of monitoring flood waters, children being unable to understand the situation -- all in one tree.
that night, i retired in a resort by the beach. obviously, i couldn't see anything at night but they told me to brace myself for what i was about to see. what greeted me in the morning was more what i could have imagined.
by the side of the mountain, it was as if a giant cat clawed wound marks the size of villages and showed mud and earth on an otherwise green vista. by the beach, there was more wood: roots twice my height, tree trunks the length of 2 story buildings, trunk rings revealing century old trees -- spread across more than a kilometer of beach front. it was a sight to behold, not like when one sees a sun eclipse, but rather when one sees a person badly injured and with a torn limb; try to look away but can't.
i went around for a while. i touched the wood and looked closely. i imagine it would have been magnificent where this was before. and now it has come here to it's end. and yet people refuse to let it rest properly, with graffiti and carving on it's skin. i don't mind that people use it for a better purpose like make furniture and be their livelihood but to let it rest in that state, that is a tragedy, not only for the tree but for the people who live there as well.
i consider myself as an environmentalist and experiencing this brings all sorts of feelings within me. anger, rage, even a certain numbness. i just couldn't understand why some people have to be greedy. thinking about it, i'm pretty sure that the logging concessionaires don't even have an ounce of remorse. probably, when this tragedy struck, they were in their comfortable homes in posh gated communities, or out on the road in their european luxury cars. i mean, here they are, thinking that they need more money in order to keep up with the joneses or to be in the society pages. or else they would enter into a depression. (pathetic.) and here are these poor people in this town who have practically nothing and yet, they are able to smile and laugh on the simplest things -- despite being haunted by the tragedy. probably i'm putting them up as one-dimensional characters but a year has passed and sometimes an afternoon of rainfall can bring in the floods again. what more if it was another strong typhoon?
sometimes, this world can be twisted. and if we don't learn from this experience, it will happen again and again and again. but i'm not saying that this is doomsday either. it doesn't mean that it has to end there; problems need not end as problems. going to the source and unearthing difficult habits can bring about real closure. though filipinos are very gentle and an easily forgiving people, this thing must be faced. there is still hope for change. tragedies tell us only a part of the story. at the end of the day, if we allow it to, we will indeed have scars but we will also experience healing.
*****
i went to a lot of places over the fortnight and have plenty of stories to tell but this has to be written first. i wish i brought a camera when i was there.
posted by lex @ 4:45 PM,
