utterly grateful
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
less than a year ago, i resigned from a job for reasons other than what i expect from myself. on that fateful day, there wasn't any sense of closure, except perhaps a handshake from my japanese boss. i was ruined for a few months, no, make that more than a few months. i was utterly exhausted from what transpired in that company. in short, i was burned out. there was no ounce of gratitude on my end.
but eight months down the road, things have come full circle. i now know that the stored bitterness that i have for that office is close to nil, if not, really gone. i don't have a need to talk about it. and if i do, i look at it as an experience that gave me real personal growth. i'm even much thankful that they have given me an opportunity to travel to an exotic locale. what has brought me to this point, you may ask?
it's just a realization that this too has given me much to be thankful for: travels, new friends and a greater depth to my person. from being so frustrated to having a sense of fulfillment, that is something. even more, i wouldn't be the person that i am without it. in fact, that is a new experience for me. all i know is that there comes a point in my life that there is a need to come to an acceptance of what has been said and done. a person can change his mind when he wants to.
if there is one thing that i have learned in psychology, we are more than just those theories, that we should not allow ourselves to be boxed up by mere concepts that scientists have named. (yes, there are times when it can help predict behavior, but on the other hand, it should not only be the sole gauge of understanding behavior. psychology that is limiting is never really psychology at all.) that being scarred does not mean that you will be scarred for the rest of your life. our behavior is much more evolved than that. sometimes, it is we who limit our own capabilities. we listen to voices that say that we are not good, fast or intelligent enough. this does not mean that i'm bordering on self-help. in fact, i don't think so. i think that there's a lot of bull out there telling me to do this or do that. in the end it's up to me to decide. and that's that. if i want to be grateful, i will be.
i'm just glad to be where i am. this is life, and this is what is given.
posted by lex @ 12:03 PM,
additional thoughts for the road
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
stuff i realized while watching the baghdatis-ljubicic match:
11. there will be doubts but the thing is how to overcome those doubts
12. wear your heart on your sleeve
posted by lex @ 10:38 PM,
thoughts for the road: in the game of life
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
1. a lot of it is self-belief
2. there are things that can and cannot be controlled
3. i will still make a lot of mistakes
4. doing things half-baked is never really doing anything
5. everything turns out for the best
6. ask for help when needed
7. there will be bad days
8. take it one step at a time
9. erleichda! (lighten up!)
10. be in gratitude (always)
posted by lex @ 11:40 PM,
new road: a fresh start
Friday, January 06, 2006
my new year didn't begin on new year's day, but rather on the 4th of january while i was fixing and purging my things. threw out shirts and pants that i'm not using anymore while using new ones (recently bought and lengthily stored -- and i mean store: i have a shirt that i haven't worn for more than a year).
after doing it, i felt much lighter. excess baggage as they say is, well, excess. not only do i have more storage, i also have an appreciation for having less stuff. i don't like excesses, in anything for that matter. when it comes to my stuff, i have a rule that if my things cannot fit my room, i need to get rid of some of it, which is specifically within the 4x4 meter confines of my bedroom.
and i'm glad i did it close to the new year; it's like a new slate, a fresh start with no strings attached. i'm more hopeful than ever for this year, maybe because i've made a lot of realizations over the past few weeks. moreover, there's a willful determination on my end to face this year with much gusto.
i have my resolutions for this year but will share it with you at the end of the year. as of now, my accountability is to myself and let's just see how it will work out. but as with the past 3 or 4 years, i've always found that each year gets better and better. (just for the record: i've experienced a new low this year, albeit less than the one when my lola died a few years ago but still i considered 2005 as my best year). looks like a great one ahead. as i say, a good things comes to a peron who has a positive attitude and an open heart.
i'm excited to see what will unfold in the next 12 months. surf's up, my friend and have a great new year ahead!
posted by lex @ 10:06 PM,
